Time Capsule

~gg is saying goodbye, but not farewell.

I wondered into blank space, for a while, pondering the thoughts that flow through my mind. Seeking a point of entrance, an inspiration.

Then I remembered this,

I heard a speech sometime ago, by a total stranger; he described the heartlessness of the process of flight. Where the mother bird would push their young from the nest, so that they are forced to flap their wings or plummet to certain death. Brutal. Yet from that moment of cruelty, one begins to see the reality from another perspective.

This is what I wanted, I should be happy, yet why is it so grim.

A friend offered to fly with me, and I promised myself that I will. Be there at every step of the way,

But, I'm sorry, I can no longer keep that promise, it is a path that I've chose to take, an adventure I was seeking, the unknown that I’m walking into. A new life. Maybe.

It is something that I've decided long before meeting you, a road in which I take alone.

I'm sorry, I need to go,

Maybe it would have been different, if I’ve met you earlier. But, when I return, would you still want to take flight with me?

To all those that I love and cherish,

To all those that brought happiness, joyfulness, sadness, and even frustrations,

To all those that loved me, and cared for me, and claimed me as siblings and offsprings,

the ones with thoughts, and dreams, and promises...

the ones that wanted to travel the world with me, wanting to stick with me to the very end

even the ones with broken hearts that I’ve created or mended…

I'm not running away, I'm simply turning a new page into another chapter,

I will not forget. You.

There's a new horizon in the distance. There is no turning back; I hope I've made the right decision

Thanks for the memories, the experiences, the wonders, the laughter, the tears, and the moments of stupidity,

Thanks for the times where you made me felt most alive, the 3am calls, and random midnight door visits to satisfy the night cravings of pork rolls and kebabs and apple strudels from Perth.

I'm sure when I return, there would be more,

but I fear, that there would be no more,

As we grow old, we change, for better or worse,

but once in a while, we would recall, the good times.

There are moments in life where everything is an uncertainty.

I guess that is what makes life worth living.

There are too many people that had made a significant difference in my life, if not shaping whom I am today, and defined me for who I am. You know who you are.

Please wait for me, and remember to smile.

四个月后的你和我
会是什么样的~

Loose Ends...

I want to send this message to you, out of my need to tie up loose ends if you will, but more of a moral satisfaction to myself that I am fulfilling the duties of our friendship.

For whatever reason that I have came believed that I should always be loyal to my friends, and act in their best interests. I now regret, to a certain extent, of the consequences of such.

I say, regret, because that person was a part of many friend circles, whom in which I may have introduced to. I have not isolated those that wish to see me, nor those whom queried at my absence, in which I apologise for, and in advance of future events which I choose not to attend.

Simply because it is more convenient.

I say, to a certain extent, because I am satisfied that it has brought out the true characters of some people which until that moment, I have blindly believed that they will not betray or speak ill of me.

Hell is paved with good Samaritans if not sprinkled with good wishes and desires. I guess this is where I’ll be heading to.

So thus come my words of warning.

There are those amongst us, whom beyond my reasoning, thrive on gossip, and create rumours out of sheer boredom and jealousy. Those whom see you as tools for their enjoyment or needs, those whom will toss you aside with such poor excuse as soon as they find another tool to satisfy their enjoyment.

Even if you’ve known them for in which it seem like a life time. Even if they have told you, you were there for them when it seems no one was.

Those that the wiser have forewarned me about, try to steer me away, which I stubbornly refused to heed in belief that it will not happen to me.

It is time for me to warn you, that the ones in which you are able to drink with, sing with, laugh with, cry with, and talk on the phone to the dawn hours of the morning with; Years of friendship later, may turn in matters of such trivialness and in such quick succession, it is not even a fraction of how long you have known them for.

I have never believed, until recently, your best friend may be your worst enemy; the one that will hurt you the most, is never someone you expected.

Myself included, but I wish that will not be the case. Ever.

乔北的故事看过吗？

Reminiscence & Verisimilitude